Magazine Article:
Pregnancy
January 2007

Sleep Solutions
By Jennifer Lacey

Abbie Wolf and Ari Dubin of Nashville did everything they could to get their newborn, Davi Wolf-Dubin, to sleep.  They swaddled her, but then her little arms found their way out of the blankets.  They relied on an infant swing, which worked like a charm-at first.  “All of these things worked for a while, but Davi was quickly growing immune to all of the crutches that we used to get her to sleep,” Abbie says.

As an expectant mom you’ve probably heard countless tales of sleepless nights.  If you’re lucky and have one of those babies who sleeps easily, you won’t have to give it much thought.  But if you’re like many moms, getting your baby to sleep will take some work and a lot of patience.

Enter the modern sleep trainer or coach.  In generations past, pediatricians and child development experts advised moms and dads to let their babies set the schedule for feeding and sleeping.  Fast-forward to today when trainers tell sleep-deprived parents to take the reins and establish a steady sleep routine for the entire family.

Sleep training may sound silly to some families, but it has quickly grown into a full-fledged industry, fueled by exhausted parents who are desperate to bring an end to nightly sleep struggles.  Kim West, co-author with Joanne Kenen of Good Night, Sleep Tight, believes that with a little guidance, even the most resistant baby can become a great sleeper.  She has developed an approach to help babies learn to put themselves to sleep without forcing them “cry it out”—a long-prescribed method that has made many a mom squirm with guilt.

West’s gentle technique, which she calls the “Sleep Lady Shuffle,” advises parents to gradually move away from their dozing child’s side over a period of several days, and eventually out of the room altogether.  End you bedtime ritual of reading, rocking, or singing by moving a bit farther across the room as baby falls to sleep.  This way, you’ll still be able to soothe your little one with your presence while fostering independence.  You may not escape tears, West says, but you will experience less angst and even gain confidence in your parenting skills.

Trainer Tips
Most sleep trainers primarily coach outside of the house. After reviewing the Wolf-Dubin family history and creating an individualized plan, West began coaching the couple of the phone in 45-minute sessions for a period of six weeks. “It helped us immensely that Kim called us on Saturday mornings to check in,” Abbie recalls. “It was comforting to know that if the night was terrible, we could speak with her that next morning.” After two weeks, Abbie and Ari were able to forgo the “shuffle” because Davi was sleeping more steadily and soundly.

To find a sleep coach in your area, start asking around now. Inquire at the pediatrician’s office, local daycare centers, neighborhood parent groups, or on the Internet. Take a candidate’s background and experience into careful consideration. “Choose a coach that has either an educational background in child development, a nurse, social worker, or psychologist,” West advises. Keep in mind that a lengthy resume may not mean that a trainer’s method is ideal for you and your baby. “A good coach will consider a child’s temperament, as well as the parents’ tolerance and intuition, in creating a flexible plan. This plan should also be one that can be modified to adjust to a particular family’s situation and needs,” West adds.

Also consider what you can afford; the fees for sleep trainers can run anywhere form $300 to more than $500 per scheduled period of consultation. Regardless of what your grandmother or neighbor says; follow your instincts when it comes to obtaining the services of a sleep coach or any other helper. Looking back, Abbie Wolf recalls “the look” that she and her husband often received. “Lots of eyes rolled at us when we talked about this subject with people we knew, but it is so important to try not to pay attention, and trust in yourself as parents to know that it’s a good thing to seek out assistance when you need it the most.”